A Plea to Tiger Woods on His 50th Birthday

Tiger, on your 50th birthday, I have a request. I have a plea, really.

Play the Champions Tour, please. Pretty please.

It’s been way too long since we’ve seen you in the heat of competition, and I don’t mean just teeing it up and grinding through excruciating pain just trying to finish. I mean hitting punch cut seven irons to a back right pin, getting up and down from a short-sided bunker, making a 12-footer for par and fist-pumping that shit.

Your last top 20 in a PGA Tour event was January of 2020 — that’s almost six years ago — and with your latest injuries, a ruptured Achilles, a disc replacement in your back, I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to compete with Scottie and Rory and the rest of the young guys over 72 holes on a PGA TOUR golf course where you have to walk. But the Champions Tour — 54 holes, most of the time you get to ride in a golf cart — you got that.

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You still have all the shots. You still love the game. You still spend every waking moment on a golf course that you can. You play the Champions Tour against other guys your age, you would get in the mix. You will feel the juices. You’ll win. And selfishly, you’ll entertain the crap out of all of us at home.

Because, yeah, the TOUR is in a great spot without you. You know, the young guys have done a good job carrying the mantle — Scottie and Rory and the rest of them. But there is still nothing like watching Tiger Woods in the heat of the mix on the back nine on Sunday.

It doesn’t matter who you’re playing against at this point. The time is running out. We just want to see you do what you do best: win golf tournaments.

Happy birthday, Tiger. I just want to watch you do your thing again—and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

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